Today, I was supposed to play tennis. It’s the first day of South West Ladies’ Penants and I’m joining a new team. I played tennis a lot when I was younger, faster, much more nimble… but seriously, it’s been about twenty years between
I have, however, been practising. I even bought a new racquet. The lady organising the tennis promises me faithfully that the division we’re entered in is like, the lowest division possible.
I’m expecting to play tennis against grannies. Slow grannies. Very slow grannies in wheelchairs.
I was very excited about playing tennis today, and then it rained. The grannies are fair-weather tennis players. So are my teammates. Apparently, so am I.
So, now that I’m staying home, I decide to catch up with my weekly grocery shopping. I drive the fifteen-minute drive from my place into my nearest town, Margaret River, park in the Coles, go to get out of the car and realise I left my purse at home.
I gotta no bread to buy bread.
So, upon reversing out of my spot in the carpark in utter disgust at my terrible memory, I very nearly (but not quite) reverse into a parked car. It’s only three months since I dinged my Silver Subaru on a tree at school pick-up. I did not wish to phone my husband to admit I had a new dent in my patched-up Silver Subi. Last time cost me $750 excess!!
My weekly shop can wait. I drive home and grab $5 and buy bread at the local bakery. #CrisisAverted
So, back at home with the bread, I decide I will spend the day doing some book marketing. I’ll make a new Facebook header. A new Twitter header. And lo, while I’m at it, I might try a different theme for my website…
It’s pissing down raining (too wet for tennis, remember?) and I decide to light our fire. This requires me to chop kindling in the rain, but I don’t complain. I light the fire, and return to experimenting with new themes for my website.
About an hour later, it’s time to make toasted sandwiches for my kids. The school is just four minutes, twelve seconds away in my Silver Subi. Yes, I’ve got it timed down to the hundredth second because I am notorious for being late. As I butter bread for the sandwiches, I happen to glance toward our fireplace.
This fire? She go out.
About this time, I realise the appliance I’ve plugged in to warm up is the toaster, not the sandwich press. Lunch will be late, kids, even with personal speedy Mum four-minute-twelve-seconds delivery in the Silver Subi.
I deliver warm toasted ham and cheese, plus a jacket for my youngest boy who
stupidly bravely decided he did not need a jacket at school today, and return home to chop more kindling in the rain, re-light the fire, and return to working on my website.
That’s why I write stories to make you smile. Otherwise we all go nuts.